Hi guys! Another personal post for you today. Yippee! Today, I want to talk about personal fears that I have. I thought it would be good to talk about on the blog. With these fears, I’m talking about the life stuff that I’m feared off, not spiders, snakes or anything like that. I have them, of course I do, everyone does, I mean, I’m terrified of dogs. Just something about them… but one of the biggest fears that I have in life is the fear of failure and rejection.
I’m the sort of person who always wants to do better than what I’ve done before. If I get a result that is just that short of the higher mark, I’m angry with myself. I feel that I’ve let myself down. I know it’s not that big of a deal, that I did have a good grade, but deep down, I’m so angry with myself and so down. I’ve always been like that though, even as a kid, I always wanted to go higher and higher than I could. As you can probably tell, I’m a very stubborn person and I won’t give up without a fight. If I want something, I get it. Whatever it takes, if I’ve got my mind on it, there’s no other option but to get it.
But then when it doesn’t happen and I’m faced with my terrible fiend… failure. Nobody likes failure do they? Myself included. It’s something that I’m constantly fearful off; whether that be in life in general, my education or even this blog. I’m scared of failing. I know it’s “you can only do your best!” but really? That doesn’t mean anything to me. Soz.
I’ve always got to do better than before, and that’s probably not going to stop any time soon. But over time, I have gotten better at it. I’ve faced the fear of failure and kept telling myself that it’s okay… it’s only 5% of the higher mark. But I know, that deep down, I’m talking a load of balls. I know it’s going to take time and for me to get used to it. But that little shadow of failure is always going to be lurking behind me no matter what.
The other fear of mine is rejection. I hate it. I guess it sort of links with the fear of failure because with failure leads rejection, right? Growing up, I’ve always feared of being rejected whether that be relationship wise, education wise, or even just friends wise. I mean, I was nowhere near being the ‘cool kid’ or associated with them one bit but we just want to be accepted don’t we? We want to be part of the cool gang, like being part of the T Birds and the Pink Ladies, we just want to be accepted. We don’t want to be rejected by the guy or girl that we fancy and have a huge crush on them and follow them around school just to be rejected… come on, we’ve all been there!
But I guess, overall, these fears fade away when we grow up. I’ve gotten better with the idea of rejection. With the career that I want to go into, the media industry, rejection is like second nature and I need to get used to that. With being in university, I think that’s helped me a lot. It’s helped me grow as a person and made me understand the actual idea of rejection and that I don’t need to be accepted by the cool kids. I’m happy, life is going good, I’m not failing so much lately and rejection? Well, that’s out of the window.
I mean, I don’t want to be part of the Pink Ladies or the T Birds, I’m happy being little Eugene adjusting his way through life*.
I hope this helped you in some way, and overall, this has helped myself. It feels like a huge burden has gotten off my shoulders. So, yay, thank you!
Remember that it’s not all about being accepted by others, it’s nice, yes, but the most of all and the important part of it all is to accept yourself and who you are. That’s the best thing you can do.
See ya soon!
*I did actually play Eugene earlier this year. He’s my FAV.